Yes, me in red high heels sitting at my desk! I took a pause and asked myself "what am I doing?"
I had to take, what I call a 'wtf' break, I needed to take some time and really figure out what was making me so unsuccessful.
I started reading Rachel Hollis and others like Jack Canfield, Danielle LaPorte, Ali Brown and signed up for a business webinar.
Drowning in inspiration and advice, my "ah ha" moment or what I call my "holy crap" moment started to come clear to me. Not that I did not know this already, that I lacked self-confidence, that I sabotage everything with my fears, this was not new to me but the fact that I was waiting for something to change it, was.
Not sure if I was waiting for a lightning bolt to jolt my life into a new direction but whatever I was waiting for just was not going to appear, especially with me shutting the door on change every time it appeared.
I took some time to reflect, stood back from it all before the pieces started to come together. Now in no way am I where I want to be but the door is open for new and exciting things to enter my life.
One thing that holds me back is the lack of self-confidence; it is more an ingrained negative self-perception that most likely has some deep seeded root that someday will surface.
First thing that sparked was when I was listening to an interview that led to the question: 'When was the last time you felt really good'. My answer was.......
First of all, I dislike shoes, shopping and I often wonder if I am some other kind of breed of woman. I like simple or at least that is what I thought before. Friends had invited us out for an evening of dancing, at a club. You see high heels on women all the time, it is normal but not for this chick. My friend convinced me that I needed to let loose and have some fun, get dressed up and go all out. We went shopping and I actually purchased high heels.
Totally out of my comfort zone, I turned heads, attention was on me, and I survived. My feet hurt like hell but I ROCKED.
Second "holy crap" moment came when reading Donald Trump's "Think like a Champion" where the first sentence of a paragraph hits me like a brick. "Your higher self is in direct opposition of your comfort zone” My comfort zone has weighed me down to a point that I become complacent and as harsh as it seems I became useless. I was, in a whole, the useless component to making my dreams a reality. As corny as it is, "my higher self was in high heels" Comfort be damned.
My comfort zone was the 'invisible me' blending into my surroundings.
The red shoes are my reminder that I actually look awesome, feel powerful, accomplish goals and totally ROCK outside of my comfort zone.