From the Pieces

The pieces lie scattered at my feet.

Please—
do not hand them to me.

Let me reach for them
when I am ready.

Do not give up on me yet.
I am still here.

I will learn the shape of what broke.
I will take my time
sorting what can be kept,
what must be reimagined.

Do not sweep them away.
Do not hide them.
Do not decide their fate for me.

The mess is mine.
I own every fragment before me.

There is strength in these hands—
enough to build
from what remains.

And if time runs thin,
if the clock dares to stop,
I will still do this—

making something truer,
something stronger,
from the pieces
on the ground.

She Catches Butterflies

Her wonder is compared to that of an adventurous child. 

Tiptoes among the young and old.

She sees the vastness of pain and reason. 

Chasing butterflies for answers among the endless winds. 

She stops at the edge, terrified to take the leap. 

Working hard to catch up to her passions. 

In dreams, she catches butterflies until her reality allows her to take flight.

Unspoken Return

The atmosphere vibrated
with silent welcomes—
a knowing without words.

Welcome back.
It has been a while.

Pieces were left here
by an unspoken agreement with the past,
waiting without judgment,
without demand.

There was a pull—
knowing without knowing why.

The present.
The here.
The now.

Colliding gently
with what was once set aside.

The atmosphere became visible,
thick with recognition,
soft with permission.

And the pieces—
no longer scattered—
found their way back together.

The Silence That Knows

I have carried questions for years and chased answers that never sounded like truth.

I heard what I didn’t want to hear, while ignoring what I already knew.

There has always been peace inside me— a pure nothing stronger than something.

Strip it all away. Everything you own. Every thought you cling to.

Stand there— with nothing— and listen.

No voices crowding the mind. No questions stacked on questions. No emotion. No ego.

Just silence.

Sit quietly and wait for the next thought to arrive. Really listen. Do not answer it. Do not push it away.

Anything?

Imagine the moment you simply get it. All of it. Without effort. Without explanation.

Your greatest wow is still waiting.

Beginning or End

On the hill above the town,

where every street still knows her name, she stands with a bottle of water twisting the cap as the past flickers below.

The town that raised her. The streets that shaped her. The life she once fit into.

She stills herself, as if motion alone might decide everything.

The sky deepens. Evening holds its breath.

For a moment, she lets go of every story she’s carried— every expectation, every weight mistaken for destiny.

Darkness comes, not as an ending, but as a pause.

A surrender to not knowing.

Is this the beginning, or the end— or the quiet space
where choosing finally becomes possible?

WHO I AM

This is who I am

Standing here, facing the day.

No mask, no cape, no super powers

This is who I am

Taking my life forward

No trials, no expectations, no plans

This is who I am

Giving it all I got

No scheme, no deception, no regret

This is just who I am

IN ALL MY DAYS

In all my days, I want to have peace.

In all my days, I want to have joy.

In all my days, I want to have honesty.

In all my days, I want to have faith.

In all my days, I want to have power.

In all my days, I want to have me.

RECOLLECTIONS

Recollection of times past. When you find a piece of the puzzle, you must look into the past. I always had a conflict about how people perceived me and what kind of person they thought I was. With the overwhelming intrusion of thoughts, I always worried about what others thought about me. During high school, I was sure that some saw me as stuck up, a bitch, and maybe snobby, while others saw me as plain and didn't notice me. No matter what I thought others were thinking of me, it was rarely, if ever, positive. The more these thoughts intruded on my mind, the more I would try to fade into the background.

Avoidance would be a defense. Sometimes I did speak or act, even enjoy myself and try to be expected; I would be tortured when alone. Examining everything I had said and done in front of people. As simple as just hanging with my friends, I judged, interrogated, and feared every moment I had made within the day,

Consumed with the never-ending trial I had put myself on, I would plan to try to be more invisible the next day. Planning to say even less sounded safer to spare me the beating in my mind.

High school also brought the self-image of being plain and homely. I felt lucky if a boy paid attention to me, but I also didn't handle it well.

My self-image is tainted by always disliking my looks and wanting to be better-looking or turn heads. Don't know exactly why. I have been complimented on how I look and sought compliments before; it all seemed to ensure the thoughts I had already. Ideas that I was a very blah-looking person and could blend into a wall if needed.

MY MIND IS NEVER STILL

My mind is never still.

Always searching for answers.

The continuous quest to solve problems goes on.

Blinding questions and tempting solutions,

bring me deeper still, to the undetermined means.

Circles of information dance lazily together to form no actual meaning.

No peace for a whirlwind of thoughts; stillness does not reside.

Countless ideas resound quietly, waiting for the approval of time.

The focus of the day is far from thought.

My mind is never still.

PUT THE RED HEELS ON!

Yes, me in red high heels sitting at my desk! So I paused and asked myself, "what am I doing?"

I had to take a 'wtf' break; I needed to take some time and figure out what was making me so unsuccessful.

 I started reading Rachel Hollis and others like Jack Canfield, Danielle LaPorte, and Ali Brown and signed up for a business webinar. 

Drowning in inspiration and advice, my "ah ha" moment, or what I call my "holy crap" moment, started to come clear to me. Not that I did not know this already, that I lacked self-confidence, that I sabotaged everything with my fears, this was not new to me, but the fact that I was waiting for something to change it was.

 Not sure if I was waiting for a lightning bolt to jolt my life into a new direction, but whatever I was waiting for was not going to appear, especially with me shutting the door on change every time it occurred.

I took time to reflect and stood back from it all before the pieces started coming together. Now in no way am I where I want to be, but the door is open for new and exciting things to enter my life.

One thing that holds me back is the lack of self-confidence; it is more an ingrained negative self-perception that most likely has some deep seeded root that someday will surface.

The first thing that sparked was when I was listening to an interview that led to the question: 'When was the last time you felt terrific? My answer was.......

First, I wouldn't say I like shoes and shopping, and I often wonder if I am another breed of woman. I like simple, or at least that is what I thought before. Friends had invited us out for an evening of dancing at a club. You see high heels on women always; it is expected, but not for this chick. My friend convinced me I needed to let loose, have some fun, get dressed up, and go all out. So we went shopping, and I purchased high heels.

Totally out of my comfort zone, I turned heads, attention was on me, and I survived. My feet hurt like hell, but I ROCKED.

The second "holy crap" moment came when reading Donald Trump's "Think like a Champion," where the first sentence of a paragraph hit me like a brick. "Your higher self is in direct opposition to your comfort zone" My comfort zone has weighed me down to the point that I become complacent, and as harsh as it seems, I became useless. I was, on the whole, the useless component of making my dreams a reality. As corny as it is, "my higher self was in high heels," Comfort be damned.

My comfort zone was the 'invisible me' blending into my surroundings.

The red shoes remind me that I look fantastic, feel powerful, accomplish goals, and ROCK outside my comfort zone.

ABSOLUTELY

Awaiting the satin luck

Tune of peaceful bliss

Caressed in dreams

Absolutely his

Sworn to yearn

Breathless without stirs

Wrapped in delight

Absolutely hers

Torn from realm

Blinded by oath

Embraced in passion

Absolutely both

INSIDE DREAMS

Sitting with the sky blue and the birds singing, the world spins its web of silent peace.
Lifting the desires high above into the clean air, traveling to be shared between us.

No other dance of daydreams can be as vivid as you in the valley of my mind.
The sighs of happiness, pleasure, and peaceful wishes allow me to stray close to you.
Living here in the tales of friendship, passion, and sensual experience takes us both to places we live outside of it all.

Listen to the pounding of my heart when the moon covers my eyes, and I again fall into your arms.
Knowing you here inside of me as we travel the many roads of individual paces.

Let me dance in your dreams, fly with you into kisses and embraces, and entangle my desires until the morning sun once again.

Allow us to be in the moment.

WHOLE

If I sat quietly inside my mind, I might be able to pinpoint the absolute.
If I stir up the passions and beauty of all that I feel, I could pour it out.
If I spoke the words of how I love you, they would come up short.

So here I am, exposed to the element, expressing in a meek manner
So here I stand, with a claim of existence to the power of true love
So here I bend on knee and offer my true self and all I am, to you.

You are my soul, my everything, my partner in ways only we will know
You are the one man who fills every corner of my being and makes me whole
You are without a doubt my diamond that brings me my absolute.