In disguise but real

I felt a cold presence within me, one that enters at will and does not allow for correction.
The true frigid numbness of tears, tears frozen and standing in wait.
A cloud will rain down emptiness, swallowing any pain.
I felt a frosty air swarm within me, swells inside to cover any thoughts of mourning.
I have no control of this tingling wall that is some times see through.
On the other side, I know there is free feeling grief that wages a war.

With the coldness holding back tears, raging over the healing, I fear for a day that the ice melts fast and drowns me.

I am going to do it but I shouldn't

I am up for it, I really want it, I have prepared for it
Only doing what I need to do
Only wanting to get over this hump
I want to look amazing
I want to cry, fall into a hole
I want to be confident
I want to be healthy and uncontrollable

If good or bad, life spins us around. There is no winning Just being

Only You Can

Only You Can
You have what it takes to make that change, to turn things into something else.
 Never easy, never a clear path to help make those choices that count the most.
Only you can deliver that to your world, to step from one place to another.
Be sure of those steps would be foolish, only you can be brave enough to go forward.

You Left Me Alone

Grief tangles around, entering at will and without warning.

Strength deserts me in the most inopportune times.

Power drains from entire being, leaving me alone.

Sadness sweeps in surrounding shadows encasing me.

Trying To Escape

When the doors you open, trying to escape

Open to Darkness

Open to Emptiness

Open to Sadness

Open to a Storm

Open to Nothingness

Look Up!

Sometime the way out is not right in front of you.

Give me the person

Give me strength to carry myself
to be the person I hope to be.

Give me grace to present myself
to be the person they all see.

Give me the patience to heal myself
to be the person that is me.

Depressed? You May Be Normal

Depression has such a hard time getting the attention, most likely because it is depressing to talk about it and the people who need to talk about it want to get better. We are starting to unravel the mysteries of anxiety and depression but we have such a far journey ahead.

Depression Statistics
Depressive disorders affect approximately 18.8 million American adults or about 9.5% of the U.S. population age 18 and older in a given year. This includes major depressive disorder, dysthymic disorder, and bipolar disorder.

Everyone, will at some time in their life be affected by depression -- their own or someone else's, according to Australian Government statistics. (Depression statistics in Australia are comparable to those of the US and UK.)

Pre-schoolers are the fastest-growing market for antidepressants. At least four percent of preschoolers -- over a million -- are clinically depressed.

The rate of increase of depression among children is an astounding 23%

15% of the population of most developed countries suffers severe depression.

30% of women are depressed. Men's figures were previously thought to be half that of women, but new estimates are higher.

54% of people believe depression is a personal weakness.

41% of depressed women are too embarrassed to seek help.

80% of depressed people are not currently having any treatment.

92% of depressed African-American males do not seek treatment.

15% of depressed people will commit suicide.

Depression will be the second largest killer after heart disease by 2020 -- and studies show depression is a contributory factor to fatal coronary disease.

Depression results in more absenteeism than almost any other physical disorder and costs employers more than US$51 billion per year in absenteeism and lost productivity, not including high medical and pharmaceutical bills.