Two Hat Henry

How lucky am I, I have two hats
Orange knit to keep my ears warm
Cool Baseball cap, keeps the sun out of my eyes
I am a lucky man

How lucky am I, a whole half bagel
A little burnt around the edges
But fresh, just dropped in the can
I am a lucky man

How lucky am I, a quarter on the curb
Always have enough change to jingle
Cannot be totally broke that way
I am a lucky man

How lucky am I, they opened early
The weather has turned colder
This place will get me warm for the night
I am a lucky man

Invisible People

When I Forgot to Dance

The sadness started to take over, the phobias started to win and feeling of being powerless in my surroundings took over.


Usually people with anxiety disorders hide it well, although in their minds they think everyone can tell. The fear of everyone looking at them when near other people is overwhelming.


Anxiety disorders are the most common mental illness in the U.S., affecting 40 million adults in the United States age 18 and older (18% of U.S. population).



Anxiety disorders develop from a complex set of risk factors, including genetics, brain chemistry, personality, and life events.



Looking at the facts of anxiety and stress-related disorders, the realization that being alone in the turbine of fear seemed not to be the case. Could it help to know the facts or would it compile the feeling of despair?



Generalized Anxiety Disorder (GAD) affects 6.8 million adults, or 3.1% of the U.S. population. Women are twice as likely to be affected as men.



Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder (OCD) affects 2.2 million, 1.0% equally common among men and women.



Hoarding is the compulsive purchasing, acquiring, searching, and saving of items that have little or no value.



Panic Disorder 6 million, 2.7% Women are twice as likely to be affected as men.



Posttraumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) 7.7 million, 3.5% Women are more likely to be affected than men.



Social Anxiety Disorder 15 million, 6.8% equally common among men and women, typically beginning around age 13.



Specific Phobias 19 million, 8.7% Women are twice as likely to be affected as men.



Anxiety and Depression usually go hand in hand and it is not uncommon for someone with an anxiety disorder to also suffer from depression or vice versa.



When plagued with anxiety disorder, other disorders rear their ugly heads putting things into a much more complicated situation.



•Bipolar disorder

•Eating disorders

•Headaches

•Irritable bowel syndrome (IBS)

•Sleep disorders

•Substance abuse

•Adult ADHD (attention deficit/hyperactive disorder)

•BDD (body dysmorphic disorder)

•Chronic pain

•Fibromyalgia

•Stress



Information can be enlightening, to identify the reason for behaviors that were starting to interfere with life and relationships. When your ‘being’ hurts, your dreams scare you, not when you are sleeping but when you are daring yourself to dream big.

When you want to be famous but the utter thought of it makes you physically sick, contradictions you struggle with plant you in a mode of survival. When anxiety disorders are a force that takes over your life, you shelter yourself from embarrassment that does not exist, disappointments that have not happened, judgments’ that only you know about.

It is exhausting to evaluate yourself constantly. Evaluating your performance while you are performing takes away from the performance itself. Trying to guess other people’s reactions consumes you and invites panic and that feeling you dread. Avoiding situations gets easier the more you practice, if I could only disappear.

I stopped dancing….

When thrown into thought, knowing that to succeed and to make things happen, I needed to promote myself. I have spent too much time finding ways not to exist and endlessly trying to find approval for every thought and idea.

Constantly searching for inspiration, guidance and direction and surrounding myself with tons of life coaches, quotes, articles and self-help books. Everyone knowing more than me; when I happen to find some inspiration, a spark of goal setting or dream making guidance, I had become a master of destruction and set up the process of unworthiness and failure solidifying why all the great advice was not for me.

Now I knew this was happening, that I was my own worst enemy and I realized I had stopped dancing.

In my daily search of ‘help me out of this hole’ I realized that I needed to write my bio with powerfully positive words…not just words on paper but words that were truths and I really needed to believe those words. Been to many sites where I read other people's bios, impressed with most, one stood out. The words flew off the screen and I liked this person, no clue who she was but liked her.

Then it hit me, like a paper air plane that had been waiting to land, I had been trying to write about myself in a particular way, so it would sound good to others, so it would be ‘up to snuff’, so it would be proper, ‘good enough to get in the door’, set to guidelines and so on. Who exactly was I trying to write about? I had no belief that I was awesome, which would make all I wrote

a bunch of fluff.

I forgot to dance…..
Crank up the music and dance like no one is watching.



I had searched for examples of bios, almost wishing I could be someone else to make it easier to write my own. Then I remembered all I had to do was dance, I am happy when I dance, it feels good, great exercise, mind relaxing……so when

I remembered to dance…..

I am a sexy, fun loving woman who believes that sometimes dancing in your pajama pants as the sun streams through the windows makes you a star in your show. Laughter and fun to start a day, then share it with the world because everyone needs to dance. Don't hide it, just dance.





Unexpected Gap

I should have followed my instinct and went along with my heart
I could have followed the other fork in the road as I had before
I may have slept past the warning bells many times before
No matter how the present comes to appear, it arrives just the same

You could have allowed me to follow closer to you
You should have been there when I needed the support
You may have seen the pain and helped me steer clear
No matter how the past disappears, it goes just the same

They could have been on the other side
They should have forseen the shadows to arrive
They may have told the story to help gain knowledge
No matter how the future unfolds, it gets there just the same 

Street or Shelter?


If the weather is right, could you curl up in the park and sleep?
Could you search a garbage can for food?
Would you stand in line at a soup kitchen or shelter?
Would you be able to push all your belongings in a shopping cart?

I bet your answers are the same as the homeless man about two years ago or so

Four Penny Coffin







Four penny coffin (or coffin house) is the term they used for the first shelters in London. It was run by the Salvation Army in the late 1800, early 1900. These shelters charged their clients.

For a penny you got a meal and was allowed to sit on a bench all night, but not permitted to sleep. For another penny, you would get a rope put across the bench, you were allowed to sleep hanging over the rope. You were not permitted to lay down and the rope was cut at daybreak.

For four pennies, you received food and shelter, you had a wooden box that you could lie down in. You were covered with a tarp.

Compared to modern shelters this is considered inadequate, but in its time it was viewed at a charitable attempt to help the homeless. Homelessness was a new problem and the shelters helped get people out of the cold London winters.

This is a bit of a history lesson....makes you wonder how far we have come.

HANK

It does not matter that my name is Hank, I am the homeless man you see walking to the meal that has no reservation.

My coat is all I have but it carries many necessities for this journey.

Makes no difference I made a living wearing a suit, I was not born on the street. My life twisted into a direction without a map or exit sign.

I do not shave but I try to keep as clean as possible, I do not look at people anymore, they do not exist to me here. I am the homeless man with no name; they turn their heads and carry on. I will not let them exist to me anymore. This is all I have, no more questions, no more tears, just the journey to nowhere.

Forgotten? Maybe!

Alive? Yes! Here I am God, waiting for the purpose of this journey.

I only exist to myself, so here I walk to the meal with no reservation... alone.




In 1996, an estimated 637,000 adults were homeless in any given week. In the same year, an estimated 2.1 million adults were homeless over the course of a year. These numbers increase dramatically when children are included, to 842,000 and 3.5 million, respectively. Over a 5-year period, about 2 to 3 percent of the U.S. population (5 to 8 million people) will experience at least one night of homelessness. For the great majority of these people, the experience is short and often caused by a natural disaster, house fire, or community evacuation. A much smaller group, perhaps as many as 500,000 people, has greater difficulty ending homelessness. One researcher who examined a sample of homeless persons over a 2-year period found:Most, or about 80 percent, exit from homelessness within 2 or 3 weeks. They often have more personal, social, and economic resources to draw from than people who are homeless for longer periods of time. About 10 percent are homeless for up to 2 months, with housing availability and affordability adding to the time they are homeless. Another 10 percent are homeless on a chronic, protracted basis, for as long as 7 or 8 months in a 2-year period. Disabilities associated with mental illnesses and substance use are common. On any given night, this group of homeless persons can account for up to 50 percent of those seeking emergency shelter. Thanks Imagine how this has changed over years, imagine the count world wide. It is more than we can even imagine and most of us just don't want to think about it!

A New Defintion of Happiness

A question of happiness crossed my mind
The choice of smiling or crying, yelling or laughing
A true fork in the path within my mind
Happiness is easier when the clouds are gone

Strive closer to a definition of happiness
Different with age and time
Released of obligated happiness
Peaceful laughter comes with ease

 Artwork © Jonathon Earl Bowser - www.JonathonArt.com

All I Know


All I know is the way you make me feel, that feeling that brings me up from my lowest point and embraces me on standing ground.
All I know is the tender touch of your voice when we laugh, letting me experience such happiness.
All I know is the feelings I own and how they surround us when you are close.
All I can be is a moon and sun in your world, to hold your hand when you need me.

All you can show me is your heart as we learn all there is to know about us.
All you may be to me is a comfort in a storm, a beacon in rocky waters
All you show me is your soul and the forming bond we share.
All you share is the very feelings that bring us pleasure and passion

With the all of us, we will be one.

Behind Glass


Behind the glass, no one can laugh.
No one can see the heat of painful expressions.
They cannot see the fear that boils inside,
Kept hidden, they can’t see what is not shown
Danger escalates in the mind and brings illness.
Threatened by the stares and judgement of no one.
It is not real but ties to shame and blame.
A smile from afar, a speech in the mind
Never to be shared within a circle.
To explain might be a tedious task
Letting the hidden desires of escape
Never asking what needs to be answered.
Behind the glass, the world awaits.

Happy Birthday

Another year has passed, another day, another minute.
Aged here, the three blocks that is now home. Without a roof!
At some point in time a birthday came and passed.

Happy Birthday to those on the street, to those that will not have cake or a present or family.
Happy Birthday to those need to survive something no one elects themself to do.


The United States government determined that somewhere between 200,000 and 500,000 Americans were then homeless

Answer This

Have you asked her why she has never reached her destination?

If not asked she may never know herself.

Have you asked her what her dreams consist of?

If not asked they may never surface and have a chance to enter the atmosphere.

Assuming she already knows the answers to the questions never asked drives her into the unknown never to be known.

Allow the mind of her conscience to spend time soaring to heights of explanation.

Stay aware of the principles we live through our loneliness and let someone else help in achievement.

Have you asked her if this is the place, where her life will take her and make the best of happy that could be experienced?

If not asked she many never know and you may miss her.

To Continue Homeless

With breath, hands can be warmed
With a blanket, sleep can override
With a smile, a heart can hope
With a sunrise, a day can begin
With a sunset, another chance appears
With a meal, life can continue
With a blessing, a tear can clear

On any given night, nearly 700,000 people are homeless. Veterans represent one-fifth of the homeless population; chronically homeless individuals represent 18 percent. Hundreds of thousands are families with children and unaccompanied youth.

What did he think about the homeless?

What judgement did he have about the homeless before he became homeless himself?
Working, living in a home of his own, educated....now homeless.
When he passed the homeless guy at the corner, did he stop to give some coins?
Did rush on by and pretend not to notice? Did he judge and question "How could they get like that?"

Was he one that cast fear "Don't look at them, they might attack"

Does he remember his thoughts about people on the streets before he became one?

I Will Be In OZ!



Ever have one of those days where you wish that damn tornado would come and take you to OZ!

I would even wear those tacky red ruby slippers if I had to.

I can’t sing but there has to a recording somewhere I can lip sync too.

I would follow the yellow brick road and if the crazy lion and straw man and tin man want to come they better keep their distance. I have enough crazy shit in my life and don’t need their problems.

The wicked witch would totally meet her match and I am not afraid of flying monkeys, I have 3 kids, try dealing with them for a week.

So bring it on!

When entering the emerald city, that large castle thing with all the strange people about-- somewhat like a mall in the city—I will not be looking for the green head that has the wisdom, or the little man behind the curtain. I will be looking for the spa, the deli, and some better-looking shoes.

When I am finished and had my fill of strange but yet far away from reality break from my life, I will return on a broomstick, chanting.


“I am ready to come home.”

I Can't Hear You!

 I cannot hear you! I have my music up as loud as it can be.
The beat bangs through my body and I am dancing to every rhythmic pulse.
I might call you later when I have finished drowning out the world,
maybe when I return to the reality that has sent me here.
I believe you might have to wait for a little while, either pull up a chair or join me in the surround sound that has taken over my body.
I will not be looking your way, as I twirl and twist.
Don’t expect any response until I have emptied my mind of the heavy weights that have worn me out.
I am here to release some stress the best way I know how.
Don’t let me stay here too long, but just for now let me dance to this music.
I have heard and felt this song many, many times, it has a place in my history, not sure what section it holds in place.


I will dance until my muscles let me know it is time to settle back to other side of the mirror. Taken through to the other side where all is calm I am ignoring any signs that it might be time to go.
I will not be listening to any of your woes right now, none of your concerns and please do not throw any advice my way.
My feet, hips, butt, shoulders are well into the party mood by now.
I know you have some concerns, but really, my only concern right now is that you would benefit from doing the same.
I believe I would feel better if you expelled your burdens now with me, I do not want you to send me back here as soon as I am finished.
I realize you think I have lost my mind as I use my body to express the feelings of the music inside me, but I do not care.
I am taking my mind, body and spirit to a new place less travelled; everyone needs a vacation once in a while.


I am not looking at you,
I cannot hear you,
but don’t worry I will return.