A brief definition of shyness
In humans, shyness (also called diffidence) is a social psychology term used to describe the feeling of apprehension, lack of confidence, or awkwardness experienced when a person is in proximity to, approaching, or being approached by other people, especially in new situations or with unfamiliar people. Shyness may come from personality introversion, genetic traits, or the environment in which a person is raised. Some people with shyness have social anxiety problems or social phobia. But many people with shyness do not have these problems. Shyness may merely be a personality trait or can occur at certain stages of development in children. Shyness can also be cultural (adherence to certain norms of behavior in some cultures).Now this label was put on me as a little girl and well into my adulthood. A label I lived with. When my face turned red, if I hid behind my mom, or just spoke really soft or did not make eye contact.
So already being not at ease in a situation, people would actually say out loud "oh you are shy" or "she is very shy isn't she"
As soon as the label was put on me, I was bound to it. If I did get up the nerve to talk I would get the "oh my, she does talk"
A terrified, social anxious person, put in a spot light and labelled. How do you get away from it? It is ingrained in you and physically hurts to over come. I had no clue how not to be shy, it was just how I was and the more obvious it became to others, the more I withdrew into it.
The statement "oh she is so quiet" or the never ending comment on every report card I received. "She is a very quiet, soft spoken girl and needs to participate more.
Do you think this would work? --"oh you are so shy, you should stop that" "You should talk more, be more out going.
Picture this for a moment: You have a large zit on your nose. Everyone that sees you points it out, tells you that you should get rid of it.
Does pointing out the obvious really help you feel better or maybe stress you out more and cause more zits.